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Heavy Heart

by Fubar

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1.
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Verse 1: I peel back the source of mine reveal what I store at times that's how I deal with the wars inside there isn't an option, I feel like I'm forced to rhyme and keep it real with these morbid lines I'll keep whatever's left, buried deep within my head 'til the day I get deleted from this mess this is me, releasing all the stress making songs with artists that have never seen me in the flesh I think instead of sleeping in my bed instead of saving myself I'm looking for a beacon of distress put the battle tracks down, I'm leaving them to rest to speak from the organ that is beating in my chest accepted the fact I only know a little bit if anything at all on this globe I'm spinning with cold and disciplined, known for dissonance while living in this matrix I'm told we're living in Chorus: I hope you're listening, tone is villainous dissect individual quotes with diligence analyze a broken lyricist take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments I hope you're listening, tone is villainous dissect, individual quotes with diligence analyze a broken lyricist take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments Verse 2: I was addicted to drugs, was a junky in the past I made it through the jungle with a monkey on my back I'm resilient to the core, trust me I'ma last I just need family not to judge me for my past speaking of regrets knowing that regardless the path I choose it'll be leading to my death even if the fans are completely unimpressed I'ma keep writing bars to the beat that's in my head looking back, thinking of the loss I was scarred with haunted by the memories of all who departed I'm lost in the darkness, trying to evolve as an artist while using every song as catharsis slow conditioning, everything I wrote's ridiculous I appear to you as ghostly images try and focus, yet you won't envision it just realize you are not remotely sick as him Chorus: I hope you're listening, tone is villainous dissect individual quotes with diligence analyze a broken lyricist take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments I hope you're listening, tone is villainous dissect, individual quotes with diligence analyze a broken lyricist take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments
3.
Verse 1: if I die tonight you can tell them that I tried to write the thoughts I was able to find inside this mind of mine decipher lines from a guy who desires night Lucifer's offspring, attempting to shine as bright despite what I wrote with a pen or the number of fans I get, I'll still die alone in the end now I'm zoning again, holding my breath trying to cope with the stress hoping to get a single moment of zen yet I'm thinking of the coldest of days when I searched and realized I don't have a soul in my frame it drove me insane, despite the road that I take it's gonna end with me cutting my throat with a blade I'm beyond depressed, let me show you the way so you can interpret thoughts that I wrote on the page if you relate to the sickness, promote what I make and when I die maybe you can throw a rose in the grave Chorus: Baby Jayne pardon my behavior I will not prove a savior I wasn't put here to save you just put my blood on this paper Verse 2: am I dead yet I think I'm alive? is how I feel when I engage in this problematic drinking of mine my one way of thinking is on the brink of divide it's hard realizing life is the blink of an eye spent my entire life in a cage and I'm finding it strange, my eyes are fine.. yet I'm blind in a way there's ice in my veins, plus a parasite in my brain that's gonna torture me until the day I lie in a grave I can't force you to understand me, I can only try and explain to most listeners I'm kind of insane but some tell me they understand, it brightens my day reason I keep writing bars that ignite into flames and despite what I say I'm not certain what I write on a page is worth the amount of time that it takes it's depressing, all the sacrifices I've made quality time with the family is the price that I pay Chorus: Baby Jayne pardon my behavior I will not prove a savior I wasn't put here to save you just put my blood on this paper
4.
Verse 1: when I first began, I didn't plan to take long I'm not special, only a man who makes songs I'm never gonna quit, I'ma stand and stay strong songs dedicated to my fans from day one definitely life isn't easy if you gotta vent I can make a little time if you need me I can't rest, thinking of lines while I'm sleepy I want to project to where the sky is beneath me grew up struggling to withstand the pain if possible I still would've did that the same quit rap or stay? if I keep carrying this kind of weight eventually I'll split half my frame I'm cursed and lord knows even when I'm chilling I'm just passing the time 'til I return to war mode keep your distance and observe my sword stroke it's written in Sanskrit, my birth was foretold Verse 2: I was lied to my entire life I've never seen any sign of Christ told me it was normal for someone as blind as I it requires time I said fuck it and ultimately decided a mic device might suffice I keep demons at bay with thoughts that I harness and vampires aside with crosses and garlic I stay impressive with the main objective to stare at a couple phrases and make connections I think different, is it the brain in my head? that sequesters me and rather makes me a threat? when I'm on the edge I replace all the stress I just think about my daughter and the day that we met I'm trying to escape from the mess without knowing whether or not it's even safe to attempt I sit and meditate to forget the chain of events that introduced this pain in my chest
5.
Verse 1: first and foremost opportunity knocked, before I got to answer it I heard the door close important you address who you are I was meant to embark on a voyage that'll end when it starts harbinger of darkness among the wicked I am dead, I don't have any blood to give it my entire life feeling like I'm stuck in prison making music like I suffer from a drug addiction sitting yet again in the dark dwelling on the past and the way that I was left with the scars embedded in my chest is a heart that's as dense as a star and transforms my stress into art my artistry is fueled by a rage and hunger reminiscent of marauders when they rape and plunder I am lightning in the rain and thunder I can make a day in Winter feel like the hottest day of Summer Verse 2: life's a bitch, attempt to analyze my gift and come to realize I've already died within it always eventually arrives to this I'm the exemplification of getting Christ to sin release my anger.. writing on a page I'll advance my skill 'til I'm the nicest in the game thinking of all the sacrifices I have made it's a positive ultimately driving me insane listen to the songs, decipher what I said I make music so you can admire what is left I wish I could eventually retire as the best but it most likely won't happen prior to my death I'm patient like a sniper in his nest until I lose control, it's like having a tiger as a pet tired of the stress and the fire in my chest I'm not human, you can see the wires in my neck
6.
Verse 1: I've come to terms with it, I am not who I used to be looking in the mirror, I nod thinking "who is he?" there were so many dropped opportunities I could've been sitting at the top with impunity thinking of an overdosing father I revere and asking why would he even bother to appear hoping for a prosperous career magician-like way I'm able to make a dollar disappear feeling like I'm chosen, this is what it's all about it's impossible to calm the crowd ready to crucify with a wooden cross and crown yelling my name while I'm dragging it across the ground I don't see a reason for religions that teaches us that women are responsible for demons in existance many try and tell you that peace is the condition when followers would throw even Jesus in a prison Verse 2: hoping that my death will be the most beautiful locked in a room, envisioning my own funeral dangerous past, mother tried to control me in the end my daughter brought the demise of the old me searching for the path that'll benefit the most listen to the sentences I wrote try and decipher the messages and code bars are depressing, but also intertwined with an element of hope all I see is tragedy around me when I'm dead wonder what my fam will say about me lately feels like I'm only happy when I count sheep might as well strap up, become a vigilante in these town's streets everything I wrote's dope for certain I make tracks with people I don't know in person spit heat until my soul's slowly burning until god and the devil both close the curtains
7.
Verse 1: we are living in a dream, I question every minute that I breathe reality, it isn't what it seems listen when I speak, I'm driven by the beats perfectionist to a fault, see me ripping up the sheets I'm not sure, I can only trust I'm a human can't tell knowing life is just an illusion I'm done with excuses, drugs I abused them back then, when I was having fun with the music holding on to whatever purpose that I have while I listen to others trying to interpret what I can insert it in a track, the burning of a match can reveal quite easily the serpents in the grass certainly I'm sad, I tried to determine what I am and discovered I'm a version of my dad behold, on the surface I'm a man but inside I'm a hellion dealing with the burden of my past Chorus: Sadida time is minimal, I stare at the grains of sand realize it's critical to be aware of a game plan look at the shit I've been through, barely the same man yet it's difficult to leave this "Barren Wasteland" Verse 2: my past is what ultimately made me devilish I use writing bars to replace the medicine decided to embrace intelligence traveling the road I chose, and the terrain is perilous trying to be a family man with the mind of a savage rage that ignites like a matchstick put it out, working with the time I was granted if it burns me alive.. I'll rise from the ashes skill perfected every night that I practiced devoted to the craft, every line was a challenge thinking of the thirty-five years living life on this planet and the reasons I'ma lie in a casket memories locked, let me show you the images attempting to capture a single moment of innocence building a fan base, devotion is limitless it's like I'm placing monolithic stones into pyramids Chorus: Sadida time is minimal, I stare at the grains of sand realize it's critical to be aware of a game plan look at the shit I've been through, barely the same man yet it's difficult to leave this "Barren Wasteland"
8.

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Mixed & Arranged by Fubar
Cover by DJ Rhum'1

Shark Brothers
Dystopianz
Demonios Sekt
OvaSeas Movement

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released February 24, 2015

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Fubar Chicago, Illinois

Member of Shark Brothers.

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