1. |
Intro [Beat by 2032]
01:35
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2. |
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Verse 1:
I peel back the source of mine
reveal what I store at times
that's how I deal with the wars inside
there isn't an option, I feel like I'm forced to rhyme
and keep it real with these morbid lines
I'll keep whatever's left, buried deep within my head
'til the day I get deleted from this mess
this is me, releasing all the stress
making songs with artists that have never seen me in the flesh
I think instead of sleeping in my bed
instead of saving myself I'm looking for a beacon of distress
put the battle tracks down, I'm leaving them to rest
to speak from the organ that is beating in my chest
accepted the fact I only know a little bit
if anything at all on this globe I'm spinning with
cold and disciplined, known for dissonance
while living in this matrix I'm told we're living in
Chorus:
I hope you're listening, tone is villainous
dissect individual quotes with diligence
analyze a broken lyricist
take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments
I hope you're listening, tone is villainous
dissect, individual quotes with diligence
analyze a broken lyricist
take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments
Verse 2:
I was addicted to drugs, was a junky in the past
I made it through the jungle with a monkey on my back
I'm resilient to the core, trust me I'ma last
I just need family not to judge me for my past
speaking of regrets
knowing that regardless the path I choose it'll be leading to my death
even if the fans are completely unimpressed
I'ma keep writing bars to the beat that's in my head
looking back, thinking of the loss I was scarred with
haunted by the memories of all who departed
I'm lost in the darkness, trying to evolve as an artist
while using every song as catharsis
slow conditioning, everything I wrote's ridiculous
I appear to you as ghostly images
try and focus, yet you won't envision it
just realize you are not remotely sick as him
Chorus:
I hope you're listening, tone is villainous
dissect individual quotes with diligence
analyze a broken lyricist
take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments
I hope you're listening, tone is villainous
dissect, individual quotes with diligence
analyze a broken lyricist
take a knife to his body of work.. expose the ligaments
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3. |
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Verse 1:
if I die tonight you can tell them that I tried to write
the thoughts I was able to find inside this mind of mine
decipher lines from a guy who desires night
Lucifer's offspring, attempting to shine as bright
despite what I wrote with a pen
or the number of fans I get, I'll still die alone in the end
now I'm zoning again, holding my breath trying to cope with the stress
hoping to get a single moment of zen
yet I'm thinking of the coldest of days
when I searched and realized I don't have a soul in my frame
it drove me insane, despite the road that I take
it's gonna end with me cutting my throat with a blade
I'm beyond depressed, let me show you the way
so you can interpret thoughts that I wrote on the page
if you relate to the sickness, promote what I make
and when I die maybe you can throw a rose in the grave
Chorus: Baby Jayne
pardon my behavior
I will not prove a savior
I wasn't put here to save you
just put my blood on this paper
Verse 2:
am I dead yet I think I'm alive?
is how I feel when I engage in this problematic drinking of mine
my one way of thinking is on the brink of divide
it's hard realizing life is the blink of an eye
spent my entire life in a cage
and I'm finding it strange, my eyes are fine.. yet I'm blind in a way
there's ice in my veins, plus a parasite in my brain
that's gonna torture me until the day I lie in a grave
I can't force you to understand me, I can only try and explain
to most listeners I'm kind of insane
but some tell me they understand, it brightens my day
reason I keep writing bars that ignite into flames
and despite what I say I'm not certain what I write on a page
is worth the amount of time that it takes
it's depressing, all the sacrifices I've made
quality time with the family is the price that I pay
Chorus: Baby Jayne
pardon my behavior
I will not prove a savior
I wasn't put here to save you
just put my blood on this paper
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4. |
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Verse 1:
when I first began, I didn't plan to take long
I'm not special, only a man who makes songs
I'm never gonna quit, I'ma stand and stay strong
songs dedicated to my fans from day one
definitely life isn't easy
if you gotta vent I can make a little time if you need me
I can't rest, thinking of lines while I'm sleepy
I want to project to where the sky is beneath me
grew up struggling to withstand the pain
if possible I still would've did that the same
quit rap or stay?
if I keep carrying this kind of weight eventually I'll split half my frame
I'm cursed and lord knows
even when I'm chilling I'm just passing the time 'til I return to war mode
keep your distance and observe my sword stroke
it's written in Sanskrit, my birth was foretold
Verse 2:
I was lied to my entire life
I've never seen any sign of Christ
told me it was normal for someone as blind as I
it requires time
I said fuck it and ultimately decided a mic device might suffice
I keep demons at bay with thoughts that I harness
and vampires aside with crosses and garlic
I stay impressive with the main objective
to stare at a couple phrases and make connections
I think different, is it the brain in my head?
that sequesters me and rather makes me a threat?
when I'm on the edge I replace all the stress
I just think about my daughter and the day that we met
I'm trying to escape from the mess
without knowing whether or not it's even safe to attempt
I sit and meditate to forget
the chain of events that introduced this pain in my chest
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5. |
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Verse 1:
first and foremost
opportunity knocked, before I got to answer it I heard the door close
important you address who you are
I was meant to embark on a voyage that'll end when it starts
harbinger of darkness among the wicked
I am dead, I don't have any blood to give it
my entire life feeling like I'm stuck in prison
making music like I suffer from a drug addiction
sitting yet again in the dark
dwelling on the past and the way that I was left with the scars
embedded in my chest is a heart
that's as dense as a star and transforms my stress into art
my artistry is fueled by a rage and hunger
reminiscent of marauders when they rape and plunder
I am lightning in the rain and thunder
I can make a day in Winter feel like the hottest day of Summer
Verse 2:
life's a bitch, attempt to analyze my gift
and come to realize I've already died within
it always eventually arrives to this
I'm the exemplification of getting Christ to sin
release my anger.. writing on a page
I'll advance my skill 'til I'm the nicest in the game
thinking of all the sacrifices I have made
it's a positive ultimately driving me insane
listen to the songs, decipher what I said
I make music so you can admire what is left
I wish I could eventually retire as the best
but it most likely won't happen prior to my death
I'm patient like a sniper in his nest
until I lose control, it's like having a tiger as a pet
tired of the stress and the fire in my chest
I'm not human, you can see the wires in my neck
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6. |
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Verse 1:
I've come to terms with it, I am not who I used to be
looking in the mirror, I nod thinking "who is he?"
there were so many dropped opportunities
I could've been sitting at the top with impunity
thinking of an overdosing father I revere
and asking why would he even bother to appear
hoping for a prosperous career
magician-like way I'm able to make a dollar disappear
feeling like I'm chosen, this is what it's all about
it's impossible to calm the crowd
ready to crucify with a wooden cross and crown
yelling my name while I'm dragging it across the ground
I don't see a reason for religions
that teaches us that women are responsible for demons in existance
many try and tell you that peace is the condition
when followers would throw even Jesus in a prison
Verse 2:
hoping that my death will be the most beautiful
locked in a room, envisioning my own funeral
dangerous past, mother tried to control me
in the end my daughter brought the demise of the old me
searching for the path that'll benefit the most
listen to the sentences I wrote
try and decipher the messages and code
bars are depressing, but also intertwined with an element of hope
all I see is tragedy around me
when I'm dead wonder what my fam will say about me
lately feels like I'm only happy when I count sheep
might as well strap up, become a vigilante in these town's streets
everything I wrote's dope for certain
I make tracks with people I don't know in person
spit heat until my soul's slowly burning
until god and the devil both close the curtains
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7. |
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Verse 1:
we are living in a dream, I question every minute that I breathe
reality, it isn't what it seems
listen when I speak, I'm driven by the beats
perfectionist to a fault, see me ripping up the sheets
I'm not sure, I can only trust I'm a human
can't tell knowing life is just an illusion
I'm done with excuses, drugs I abused them
back then, when I was having fun with the music
holding on to whatever purpose that I have
while I listen to others trying to interpret what I can
insert it in a track, the burning of a match
can reveal quite easily the serpents in the grass
certainly I'm sad, I tried to determine what I am
and discovered I'm a version of my dad
behold, on the surface I'm a man
but inside I'm a hellion dealing with the burden of my past
Chorus: Sadida
time is minimal, I stare at the grains of sand
realize it's critical to be aware of a game plan
look at the shit I've been through, barely the same man
yet it's difficult to leave this "Barren Wasteland"
Verse 2:
my past is what ultimately made me devilish
I use writing bars to replace the medicine
decided to embrace intelligence
traveling the road I chose, and the terrain is perilous
trying to be a family man with the mind of a savage
rage that ignites like a matchstick
put it out, working with the time I was granted
if it burns me alive.. I'll rise from the ashes
skill perfected every night that I practiced
devoted to the craft, every line was a challenge
thinking of the thirty-five years living life on this planet
and the reasons I'ma lie in a casket
memories locked, let me show you the images
attempting to capture a single moment of innocence
building a fan base, devotion is limitless
it's like I'm placing monolithic stones into pyramids
Chorus: Sadida
time is minimal, I stare at the grains of sand
realize it's critical to be aware of a game plan
look at the shit I've been through, barely the same man
yet it's difficult to leave this "Barren Wasteland"
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8. |
Outro [Beat by 2032]
01:27
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