1997, decided to partake in rap / ambitious with horrible bars made from scratch / dark days were back / listening to poetry thinking what I made was an art, same as that / that was 5 years after my dad passed away / traumatized, thinking of past bad mistakes / took the blame for no reason at all / locked myself in a room to proceed with a song / and that's one of the ways that I chose to deal with it / prayed regularly in hopes to feel Christian / it didn't work, I was physically in pain / yet my outward appearance was visibly the same / envisioning my grave / admittedly afraid / of potentially spending an infinity in flames / shifted in a way / but 22 years in the future and I'm still the epitome of rage soul is long gone, you wouldn't find it at all now / trying to be calm, how? / by writing my thoughts down / things change if you give it enough time / except me.. even though I'm living a rough life / I am the same yet completely different / set goals that I wanted to achieve but didn't / intervene or listen in / dad took his life now the only thing that I can do is dream to visit him / limited in ways / lyrically engage / for deliverance of most of the misery and pain / changed how I think, specifically of faith / I dismiss if it isn't scientifically explained / nobody's reading any scripture honestly / they twist current events to fit the prophecies / I'm looking for a sound epistemology / but I'm cautious, remember what they did to Socrates

I'm locked inside a cage with wings / in Dante's Inferno attempting to escape its rings / suffer a fate worse than death if you battle me for clout / like when Adam put the apple in his mouth / introvert who's afraid of the light / it hurts but I take it in stride / until I burst from the hatred inside / church is a waste of my time / especially since I was cursed from the day I arrived / I'm beyond a philosophy class / King David with a sling-shot and rock in his hand / it's impossible to stop what I am / either worship or sacrifice every single crop on your land / I'm similar to God in the past / took an ax to the Tree of Knowledge of Eden and chopped it in half / I'm not gonna laugh / even though you think there's free will when in reality I know the plot in advance the bars that I jot with a pen tip / invade dreams like the plot of Inception / it just happens, it is not my intention / you'll die anticipating your God's intervention / I've seen another level of Hades / tremble and face me / am I the devil or was it the devil who made me? / made and born out of his blood / shaved my horns down to the stump / ready for the end, armed to the teeth / and brought a staff like Moses when he parted the sea / I'm the messiah, I know that it's hard to believe / especially since my flesh has the mark of the beast / devilish type / essentially the devil inside / persuaded both Adam and Eve to bite from the apple during Genesis times / the epitome of Dante's Inferno, every single level combined the concept of God is my arch-nemesis / faith in the absence of any hard evidence / I release demons in a dark residence / writing my thoughts to address the large elephant / sitting in the middle of the room / it's an understatement to say that I'm a little bit confused / how anything as simple as the truth / can have an affect where it breaks down and cripples at the root / unjustified beliefs rapidly continue to spread like a virus / mission is to fight until the only thing we're left with is science / people of all faith eventually get fed to the lion / I rap like tragedy is life / you believe in fantasies and baptize families for Christ / I focus and write lines / knowing that time flies / if Heaven is reality I'm hoping to die twice

Verse 1 (Fubar) I'm back on a mission / to gradually disengage the past that I live with / I just ask that you listen / fact versus fiction / tracks that I've written / is the way that I escape being trapped in this prison / I've dealt with the good and survived a lot of heart-break even / out of dark came credence / took chaos and fused individual parts, made reason / the silhouette approaching from afar ain't Jesus / carpe diem / seize the day and run / life sucks but at the very least I made the cut / I feed an unappeasable need to stay in flux / instead of worshiping something that seems okay to trust / I don't need a priest to say I'm fucked / you're led to believe you're heaven-bound if you bleed or pray enough / they need to make it up / that is how you make sense of a god who's mission is to keep away the fun Chorus (Fubar) I suppress whenever past memories come / until I release the last breath in my lungs / I never wrote tracks for fame / instead I write for the moments where I don't laugh for days / I suppress whenever past memories come / until I release the last breath in my lungs / I never wrote tracks for fame / instead I write for the moments where I don't laugh for days Verse 2 (Sadida) I need these blank pages with their infinite wisdom / going through the hardest days I can instantly fill them / painting a self portrait of Chris' damaged soul / going up in flames my brush dips the afterglow / and each stroke filled daily with pain and agony / the mask I parade around in is to save the family / believe it or not there's more beneath the surface / because a mirror can't reflect what's in the beats and verses / through this medium got me feeling extra large / like maybe there's some luck in my deck of cards / place your bets if I end it with a razor's edge / but I'm nothing famous and not the same effect / hold my head up high with reefer I like to spark / told get in line and need to find my mark / rather write for the moment reach for the shiny stars / here I am still a dreamer in this dying art Chorus (Fubar) I suppress whenever past memories come / until I release the last breath in my lungs / I never wrote tracks for fame / instead I write for the moments where I don't laugh for days / I suppress whenever past memories come / until I release the last breath in my lungs / I never wrote tracks for fame / instead I write for the moments where I don't laugh for days

Verse 1 (Fubar): I'll be depressed until my heart fades to black / they'll never go away, every scar stays intact / even though it's hard face the facts / turn your back and even friends will grab a sharp blade to stab / I internalize, listen to the tracks that I've written / it's often that if feels like I'm trapped in a prison / always in a mood, better stand at a distance / built plenty of walls but a hand-full of bridges / I hate what I know / like the day that I go / I'll be shackled to iron chains I'm afraid that I chose / but I'm still alive, barely staying afloat / looking at tidal waves thinking that I'm safe on the boat / people think that they notice what I am / anti-Christ traveling with a swarm of locusts in the back / sit please and start to focus on the track / I split seas apart like Moses with the staff / in the past I've been able to find what I've lost / by editing and reversing certain lines of my songs / forever combative I tend to fight for it all / burned bridges while even family was trying to cross / with absolute certainty there's nothing I know / I get the feeling I'm the bud of a joke / it's like I'm stuck for eternity inside ice frozen / nice guy living in a lie quite hopeless Verse 1 (Onse): J'ai perdu trop de temps À penser aux erreurs passées Comme crocs dechiquetant Une âme déjà cassée, tracassée Elle fut cadenassée, C'était une sorte de protection Je connais des gars nassés Qui ne vivent plus mais veulent une résurrection. Vous êtes infoutu D'opérer une introspection Si quelque chose vous tue C'est surtout votre besoin de perfection. Vos courantes érections Face à la misère ambiante C'est la réelle abjection Contribuant à cette atmosphère asphyxiante. Je soupire, Souvent, me prenant la tête à 2 mains Finir saoul ou pire Me rendre compte que je pense aussi trop à demain. M'assoupir Puis recommencer la même journée C'est comme croupir Entre 4 murs, un lion dans sa cage qui tourne et Explore la folie Ne mange plus, mais son corps décharné... S'il est affaiblit Peut lui permettre de livrer un combat acharné. Me prosterner ? Tu sais dors et déjà que c'est peine perdue Quit à me faire encorner Par les démons, au moins je me serais défendu Pas de marche arrière J'enjamberai les corps pourfendus Érigés en barrière Même si mes espoirs semblent avoir fondus. Je me suis morfondu En attendant de vous voir vous affaiblir Je n'ai pas confondu Vitesse et précipitations pour mon siège établir. Mais coincé Dans cette citadelle à voir mon sang couler Et les entendre manigancer Des plans pour que cette tour finissent par s'écrouler. Je ne vais pas refouler La violence qui va en découler, Au moins je vais me défouler Et aussi un peu l'ordre établi chambouler. Tous captifs On s'échine à vouloir être differents Est ce curatif ? En tous cas j'ai toujours voulu sortir du rang. Et je profère en Permanence ces mots pour les êtres errant Qui prolifèrent en Souffrant, leurs proches dans les bras serrant. Tous captifs Je sais qu'on est pourtant tous différents Ce qui serait curatif ? S'aider pour consolider nos rangs. Briser la matrice Être apte à lui faire perdre le nord en La traitant en amatrice Quit à marcher sur ceux qui vivent en l'adorant.

you've been convinced your leg's broken and you fell on your face / that's when they try and sell you the cane / I speak truth even though you hate and dismiss it / if you can't handle it you better stay at a distance / you can sense it in my quotes / I have people around but still I'm impressively alone / apparently I'm going to Hell and need a session with the Pope / even though confession is a joke / lesson is to hope / minus evidence to cope / with the harsh reality you are destined to corrode / I get the intention is to show / that despite the bad times allegedly there's hope / but I don't see intrinsic purpose / and I'm not wasting any more time taking trips to churches / stiff and nervous / surrounded by hypocritical slaves who practically exist to worship you're still hoping for a better life beyond death / but everything you do expedites the process / you sever ties in conquest / Divine Command Theory, you let them die if God says / you're still hoping for a better life beyond death / but everything you do expedites the process / you sever ties in conquest / Divine Command Theory, you let them die if God says you've been convinced your leg's broken and you fell on your face / that's when they try and sell you the cane / I'm not gonna lie when I was younger I felt conviction / I was sitting in a cell conflicted / Hell insisted / but then I thought about God and the Devil and I couldn't tell the difference / numb to the past because of evil that I saw / they tell me I didn't listen to Jesus when he called / I suppressed, now inner demons have evolved / and got worse the moment certain people got involved / I just keep it in a vault / nihilist, I don't see the evidence for an ultimate reason for it all / I understand you want to hope for an afterlife / looking to quell fears and cope with the facts of life / but why a religion that is known to infantalize / and actually promotes human sacrifice you're still hoping for a better life beyond death / but everything you do expedites the process / you sever ties in conquest / Divine Command Theory, you let them die if God says / you're still hoping for a better life beyond death / but everything you do expedites the process / you sever ties in conquest / Divine Command Theory, you let them die if God says you've been convinced your leg's broken and you fell on your face / that's when they try and sell you the cane / take a seat and just keep still / it's all part of God's plan yet you honestly believe there is free will / you've been convinced that you were born evil and the clear choice is to repent / daily you pray at night thinking you hear voices in your head / paranoid to the point you even fear coitus in your bed / they do whatever helps the business / sells the sickness / quells resistance / try and listen up, I made a point and I can tell you missed it / I'm ready to lock and load, give them Hell for Christmas / your holy book is full of dirty secrets and bad advice / look at which books were deleted or canonized / your driven by a fear you are eager to satisfy / afraid of death, so you believe in an afterlife you're still hoping for a better life beyond death / but everything you do expedites the process / you sever ties in conquest / Divine Command Theory, you let them die if God says / you're still hoping for a better life beyond death / but everything you do expedites the process / you sever ties in conquest / Divine Command Theory, you let them die if God says