my dad's gone, sometimes I see him in the face of a stranger
his impact created a crater
got his crazy behavior engrained in my nature
I just took the positive and replaced it with anger
I was unable to evolve, held in place with an anchor
just put me in a grave as a favor
I felt every day like a failure
was suicidal but the bullets still remain in the chamber
catharsis, reason every line is precise
but at this point anything I write will suffice
I was acting like everything was fine in my mind
hoping the fire I once had inside would ignite
I remember I didn't even cry when he died
years later, lost count of the nights that I cried
was in a fight for my life, daily tried to survive
looking to find the bright light that Christ didn't shine
Chorus:
some days I really wish you were here with me
but what would exactly change?
I gotta learn to turn the page
there's nothing left to say now
sometimes I scream and cry at the heavens at you
but I think about it honestly
you taught me who not to be
so I guess this is "thank you"
Verse 2:
there were times when it used to be fun
he would pick up and hug me, I reveled in the view from above
he had a choice to make, I assumed it was us
but he ended up ultimately choosing the drugs
fast forward, third time we moved in a month
and got used to not having any food in my gut
still I blame him, even though I knew he was nuts
abused to the point began to assume it was love
now many of my memories are vague, they'll eventually escape
whatever I remember is a haze
he made me even better in a way
severed my restraints, instead of being forever in these chains
reason I'm relentless whenever I engage
and the reason I never will surrender when afraid
now I treasure every day, and welcome both equally the pleasure and the pain
I will never be the same
Chorus:
some days I really wish you were here with me
but what would exactly change?
I gotta learn to turn the page
there's nothing left to say now
sometimes I scream and cry at the heavens at you
but I think about it honestly
you taught me who not to be
so I guess this is "thank you"